Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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