Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
