Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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