I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize