If i come over, it means nothing
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
