How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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