Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
