You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
