Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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