I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
two words...techno handjob
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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