He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
porn star boner night. come get it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize