chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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