hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
