Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
