That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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