Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
