I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
