how can u be prego again
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
