sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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