Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
