it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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