I am puke
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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