We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
