its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize