let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
