i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
