I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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