I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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