you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
