dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize