Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
