Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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