foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
