Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
