sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
