In America we eat man semen.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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