I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
we should paint friendship bongs
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