I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dignity is for republicans.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
