You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
