after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Someone came in the potted fern
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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