Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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