the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
