is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
