Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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