How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
