Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
