'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
