i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
