How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
