I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
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