Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ladies don't puke and tell
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
