i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
