is your mom at the bar?
Don't make out with my wife yet
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
