is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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