my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
