it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
