I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
