He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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