what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
