I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize