Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
