"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
