My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
