I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
