Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
