I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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