we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
