if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
