Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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