He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
