just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
