Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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