he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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