Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
