your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
