so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
