Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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