I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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