Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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