My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
