yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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