Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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