College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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