Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
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